Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
