There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
