he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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