If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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