I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize