Just fell off a train. Bad.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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