Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
