i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
