I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize