I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
where are you?
Hypothermia
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
