There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
