Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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