Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
