I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
