he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
