I look better un-naked...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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