it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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