I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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