i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
