You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
