You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize