oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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