I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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