Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
