you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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