Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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