singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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