There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
