You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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