I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
