I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You smell like stripper and shame
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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