I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
