If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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