drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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