I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
