During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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