is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she looked like the before picture.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
