cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
