Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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