Ambien. No doubt about it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
