But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
