Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just high enough for therapy.
My penis needs a shock collar
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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