I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize