Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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