I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
