The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
