his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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