So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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