my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
