I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
