peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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