Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
