anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
