is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
