that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
