nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
