wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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