Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
