It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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