when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
