the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just had sex bonerless
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
