I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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