I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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