I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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