I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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