I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
