Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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