nut hugger
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
