I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
