You really coming over, don't trick.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
