Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
