Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she woke up with a sticky ear
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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