BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just high enough for therapy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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