I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
