bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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