Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I could fuck to npr.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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