i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
