Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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