Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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